The Girl and The "Real" Beginning
We were first confronted about adoption by a young girl who was facing an unwanted pregnancy. She contacted us wanting to talk about us possibly adopting her child. We, of course, were ecstatic. We were coming to the end of fertility options that we were comfortable with, but we weren't quite sure what the next step was.
Through a chain of events I had heard that she was interested in placing her child up for adoption, and I mentioned our names. That afternoon I received a phone call. She wanted a meeting, the very next afternoon. Hallelujah!!!! Or so we thought.
I talked with our social worker at school to get an idea of an agency to use. I was smart enough to know that we would need to do this legally, by the book, no loop holes. After talking with several agencies who refused to take our case we found one.
When she arrived at my house I knew something had changed. Her demeanor was no longer calm, optimistic, and cheerful. It was as if something dark had taken over. Her mind was made up. There was no changing it. I used all the words and thoughts and persuasion I could come up with. In the end it was as if I was the one in the wrong, as if I were the "bad guy" for wanting to save a life. Like I said dark, dark, place. After dropping her off at her house that night, I knew. She didn't have to tell me, I knew. Sure enough the next day we got a call that there was "no more baby to worry about." I cried, my husband cried, our family cried.
But it wasn't because we didn't get "that" baby. It was because we were faced with the reality that not just one life, but two were damaged. Faced with the reality of how fragile life really is. Both mother and baby suffered hurt and pain. I think the lesser victim of the two was the baby. Not that I think that abortion doesn't hurt babies, we know quite the opposite that it does. However, I also know that my Jesus was standing, waiting to accept this baby back into his arms, welcome this child home into heaven, where this baby would never suffer again. Does this make abortion right? Of course not, but I have no doubt about that child's future.
I still see this young lady often, I know the torture she has been through in her life. She will no longer speak to us or even look at us. It doesn't bother me. I know the shame and guilt she must be feeling. I can't imagine waking up every morning and dealing with that choice, the loss, the hurt. She is the one I worry about. I know that my heavenly father loves her, forgives her, longs for her to come running home. I just hope that someday she does.
That's the real beginning of our adoption journey. It isn't pretty, or upbeat, or happy, but it's the truth. It was when we were first hit with the reality of longing and hope and excitement followed by loss. We know that the rest of our journey won't be easy. We know that there will be more tears, more loss, more hurt. But there will be joy, happiness, and miracles. Jesus has promised to work ALL things together for our good. That is the promise I hope you will cling to today as you have read this story.
God Bless.
Through a chain of events I had heard that she was interested in placing her child up for adoption, and I mentioned our names. That afternoon I received a phone call. She wanted a meeting, the very next afternoon. Hallelujah!!!! Or so we thought.
I talked with our social worker at school to get an idea of an agency to use. I was smart enough to know that we would need to do this legally, by the book, no loop holes. After talking with several agencies who refused to take our case we found one.
When she arrived at my house I knew something had changed. Her demeanor was no longer calm, optimistic, and cheerful. It was as if something dark had taken over. Her mind was made up. There was no changing it. I used all the words and thoughts and persuasion I could come up with. In the end it was as if I was the one in the wrong, as if I were the "bad guy" for wanting to save a life. Like I said dark, dark, place. After dropping her off at her house that night, I knew. She didn't have to tell me, I knew. Sure enough the next day we got a call that there was "no more baby to worry about." I cried, my husband cried, our family cried.
But it wasn't because we didn't get "that" baby. It was because we were faced with the reality that not just one life, but two were damaged. Faced with the reality of how fragile life really is. Both mother and baby suffered hurt and pain. I think the lesser victim of the two was the baby. Not that I think that abortion doesn't hurt babies, we know quite the opposite that it does. However, I also know that my Jesus was standing, waiting to accept this baby back into his arms, welcome this child home into heaven, where this baby would never suffer again. Does this make abortion right? Of course not, but I have no doubt about that child's future.
I still see this young lady often, I know the torture she has been through in her life. She will no longer speak to us or even look at us. It doesn't bother me. I know the shame and guilt she must be feeling. I can't imagine waking up every morning and dealing with that choice, the loss, the hurt. She is the one I worry about. I know that my heavenly father loves her, forgives her, longs for her to come running home. I just hope that someday she does.
That's the real beginning of our adoption journey. It isn't pretty, or upbeat, or happy, but it's the truth. It was when we were first hit with the reality of longing and hope and excitement followed by loss. We know that the rest of our journey won't be easy. We know that there will be more tears, more loss, more hurt. But there will be joy, happiness, and miracles. Jesus has promised to work ALL things together for our good. That is the promise I hope you will cling to today as you have read this story.
God Bless.
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