Bringing Home Charlie Brown

They say nothing is settled until it's written down. Never believe anything unless you have it in writing. I often feel that things roll around in my head and cannot be verbalized until I write them down. Sometimes I don't even know what I am going to say, but I know that I need to write. Writing gives the outlet needed for reflection and processing. Writing allows your thoughts to flow without anyone interrupting you, without anyone judging you, without you watching the facial features and body language of those around you. Just you and your computer, allowing your thoughts to flow. There are many things unsettled in my life right now. I feel like we have been living in a long term limbo for a number of years, but it's more than that. There are many changes on the horizon for Tony and I. Some good, some questionable, some exciting, some terrifying. Ultimately, I am not a fan of change. {I've even written a post about it before. :)} Good or bad, it brings me anxiety. ...

I'm slightly crazy. This could be said in reference to many things, but for the intent of this blog post, it will be in reference to my career. I absolutely love teaching. I truly believe it is my God given calling to love, educate, and nurture children. I CANNOT imagine doing anything different with my life. However, teaching Jr. High and High School has made me a bit... crazy. I FIRMLY believe that this craziness developed out of necessity to educate students. Kids today have a lot going on and a lot of factors stacked against them. It isn't as simple as walking into a classroom, handing children a worksheet, and telling them to quietly work on it. (I am doubtful that things were ever THAT simple, but, hey, the 1900's were a long time ago, who am I to judge?) Today's students have so much going on in their lives that the content I am teaching ranks pretty low on their list of priorities. BUT how they feel when they step into my classroom, THAT makes a big difference t...

Turning 30 has been a really difficult endeavor for me. Since turning 29 last year I have been DREADING turning 30. For an entire year I have struggled with this milestone. When asked why I was dreading it, I initially couldn't tell you, however, after really thinking about it, it came down to a few key concepts. 1. Old, turning 30 felt old, too adult, too far away from what I felt I was. No longer hearing"oh you're so young to be where you are." Once turning 30 you are fully considered an adult. 2. Lack of achievement. For me there were many things I felt I had/have left to achieve, and doing it after 30 seems "less" somehow than doing it before hitting 30. 3. Unmet expectations. I "knew" that by the time I turned 30 our life would look and be a certain way. However, that was not the case. As 30 grew closer and closer there seemed to be more and more and more that I didn't have, hadn't done, and dreams left unfulfilled. Time doesn...

January marks one year of going "live" with Lifetime adoption. Meaning that our profile has been available to be shown to birth parents for one whole year. The fact that we haven't been matched is not lost on me. It is hard to explain to people when they ask "what's taking so long." Well Janet, (as is popular in meme culture right now, I am not talking about anyone named Janet, do I even know any Janets?) it's like this, no one has picked us. No, we can't force a birth mom to choose us. No, we we would never want to force anyone to choose us. No, we aren't worried that the agency is taking advantage of us. No, we aren't ready to move on. Adoption is such a complex process that it is hard for people to understand why "two great people like yourselves" haven't been chosen yet. Yeah, sometimes I fall into that thought pattern as well, but it doesn't mean that we are great. It doesn't even mean that other people are ...

One of the things I love to do is educate people, probably a good thing since I'm a teacher. ;) However, educating people about adoption and foster care is a big passion of mine. This last week we had the privilege of going out to dinner with a couple who is in the beginning stages of considering adoption from Foster Care. At one point in the conversation Tony said to me, "I'll talk for awhile, you eat." Well, that didn't last long because I had so much I wanted to say. You see all of this experience in foster care and the world of adoption leaves me with so much to share. I could literally talk for hours and hours about our experiences and the knowledge we posses. If you have questions let's talk, if you are even thinking the teeniest tiniest bit, let's converse. If you have time to sit and listen I'll tell you everything I know. There is something so important about face to face conversations about adoption. Our own journey started when someone sha...

Have you ever felt like life was spinning out of control? Like your days, nights, and moments, are going faster and faster, yet you have no say in how things are happening? That has been my last two weeks. I remember before starting this time period I already felt extremely overwhelmed. I HATE when we have something on our calendar multiple nights in a row. There is something about staying home and doing "nothing" that fuels my soul so much. I used to be one that loved to go go go, but these days I long to stay home. Don't get me wrong, I also love going out, spending time with family and friends and creating new memories, but there is something so healing about being home in a quiet house. (Well not quiet exactly, we do have two small dogs who feel the need to defend us against every dog, squirrel, rabbit, and person that crosses in front of our house.) These last two weeks have been filled to the brim with obligations, both self-inflicted and required by jobs, house g...