A Year of waiting
January marks one year of going "live" with Lifetime adoption. Meaning that our profile has been available to be shown to birth parents for one whole year. The fact that we haven't been matched is not lost on me. It is hard to explain to people when they ask "what's taking so long."
Well Janet, (as is popular in meme culture right now, I am not talking about anyone named Janet, do I even know any Janets?) it's like this, no one has picked us. No, we can't force a birth mom to choose us. No, we we would never want to force anyone to choose us. No, we aren't worried that the agency is taking advantage of us. No, we aren't ready to move on.
Adoption is such a complex process that it is hard for people to understand why "two great people like yourselves" haven't been chosen yet. Yeah, sometimes I fall into that thought pattern as well, but it doesn't mean that we are great. It doesn't even mean that other people are "better" than us, it simply means our birth mom hasn't found us yet.
As I've said before, waiting is excruciating, it can be all consuming and depressing, if you let it. However, believe it or not, we are enjoying this season of our lives. (Not the physical season, we are currently in the middle of a polar vortex that freezes your insides in 3.5 seconds when you step outside.) There are many things Tony and I are able to do easily because there are just two of us that would not be doable or as easy if we had children. Now, that is not saying that we wouldn't give up this season if that meant adding children to our family, but it is important to appreciate the journey. We are focusing on being happy in the here and now. Spending time doing things we love that we won't have time for when the babies start coming. Having fun together, through Uno wars, binge watching t.v., working hard, spending time with friends, volunteering, and being grateful for this life we are living.
There isn't anything we can do to "make it go faster," but we can do things to make our lives more enjoyable. I was never one to believe in the idea that "positive thinking" makes things better. I'm too much of a realist to believe that just by thinking happy thoughts you will make your wishes come true faster. However, I think there is a big difference between "thinking happy thoughts" and being intentionally grateful and joyful. I am far from being happy 100% of the time, but I am focusing on being thankful and grateful for this stage of my life. We know that every adoption story is unique, the timing is different, and no one cal promise us "when" a match will happen, however, we have faith that our birth momma is out there and is choosing the most selfless gift she could ever give her child, the love of an adoptive home.
~~Felicia~~
Well Janet, (as is popular in meme culture right now, I am not talking about anyone named Janet, do I even know any Janets?) it's like this, no one has picked us. No, we can't force a birth mom to choose us. No, we we would never want to force anyone to choose us. No, we aren't worried that the agency is taking advantage of us. No, we aren't ready to move on.
Adoption is such a complex process that it is hard for people to understand why "two great people like yourselves" haven't been chosen yet. Yeah, sometimes I fall into that thought pattern as well, but it doesn't mean that we are great. It doesn't even mean that other people are "better" than us, it simply means our birth mom hasn't found us yet.
As I've said before, waiting is excruciating, it can be all consuming and depressing, if you let it. However, believe it or not, we are enjoying this season of our lives. (Not the physical season, we are currently in the middle of a polar vortex that freezes your insides in 3.5 seconds when you step outside.) There are many things Tony and I are able to do easily because there are just two of us that would not be doable or as easy if we had children. Now, that is not saying that we wouldn't give up this season if that meant adding children to our family, but it is important to appreciate the journey. We are focusing on being happy in the here and now. Spending time doing things we love that we won't have time for when the babies start coming. Having fun together, through Uno wars, binge watching t.v., working hard, spending time with friends, volunteering, and being grateful for this life we are living.
There isn't anything we can do to "make it go faster," but we can do things to make our lives more enjoyable. I was never one to believe in the idea that "positive thinking" makes things better. I'm too much of a realist to believe that just by thinking happy thoughts you will make your wishes come true faster. However, I think there is a big difference between "thinking happy thoughts" and being intentionally grateful and joyful. I am far from being happy 100% of the time, but I am focusing on being thankful and grateful for this stage of my life. We know that every adoption story is unique, the timing is different, and no one cal promise us "when" a match will happen, however, we have faith that our birth momma is out there and is choosing the most selfless gift she could ever give her child, the love of an adoptive home.
~~Felicia~~
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