Always have a good day
Someone recently said to me, "Well you're having a good day today." To which I replied "I always have a good day." The conversation then turned to all the bad things about the other person's day, which got me thinking...
It's not that I ALWAYS have a good day, I don't. In fact this morning was pretty disastrous. I was running behind schedule, I kept dropping things, (random but so annoying), my hair WOULD NOT do what I wanted it to, (thank goodness for volumizing dry shampoo!), I wasn't sure I liked the dress I picked out to wear, I couldn't seem to get everything together to leave the house, lost a set of keys, seriously, hot mess express ticket for one! (And oh my gosh my computer did something funky and I thought I lost this post!) BUT I'll still have a good day. I'll still be a bundle of love and positivity for my students once 7:50 hits. I will still love them unconditionally, show them that I care, listen to everything they have to say, empathize with their hearts and situations, because Jesus.
I have been through HELL and back in the last five years. I would not wish what happened to us to anyone, including those I don't particularly care for. I would never want someone else to experience the nightmare you can't wake up from that we were stuck in for years. I would never want someone to experience the prolonged pain and trauma that have brought me to where I am. BUT, for the first time in literal YEARS I'm starting to see some "good" from what I have gone through.
*GASP*
Do not get confused with what I am saying. If there would have been another way I would have ABSOLUTELY taken it. However, I cannot change the past, I cannot live in the land of "what ifs." I cannot apply a cheesy Christian cliche to what I have experienced and call it good. No. All of my feelings on those matters still apply. However, part of moving through the grief process is acceptance. And I think maybe, I am finally getting there. Not that I am "okay" with what has happened, but instead accepting that it has happened and I am powerless to change it.
I also don't ALWAYS have good days. Heck, I've had years of bad days, of just surviving, of living day to day with no hope for the future, but I'm starting to move out of that. The grief process takes an incredible amount of time to move through, and to be honest, I'm not done, nor will I ever be. However, after living in darkness and despair for so long, it is nice to finally see the light. It's a process, not a destination. I'm able to love more, give more, and be more because of what I have gone through. It is often people who have experienced the most pain that have the biggest capacity to love. Not because we are better than anyone else, but because we have been to the depths of despair and survived it. You can't walk through fire and not come out changed. By moving through a process such as this you find more love to give than ever before.
Have a good day friends,
Felicia
It's not that I ALWAYS have a good day, I don't. In fact this morning was pretty disastrous. I was running behind schedule, I kept dropping things, (random but so annoying), my hair WOULD NOT do what I wanted it to, (thank goodness for volumizing dry shampoo!), I wasn't sure I liked the dress I picked out to wear, I couldn't seem to get everything together to leave the house, lost a set of keys, seriously, hot mess express ticket for one! (And oh my gosh my computer did something funky and I thought I lost this post!) BUT I'll still have a good day. I'll still be a bundle of love and positivity for my students once 7:50 hits. I will still love them unconditionally, show them that I care, listen to everything they have to say, empathize with their hearts and situations, because Jesus.
I have been through HELL and back in the last five years. I would not wish what happened to us to anyone, including those I don't particularly care for. I would never want someone else to experience the nightmare you can't wake up from that we were stuck in for years. I would never want someone to experience the prolonged pain and trauma that have brought me to where I am. BUT, for the first time in literal YEARS I'm starting to see some "good" from what I have gone through.
*GASP*
Do not get confused with what I am saying. If there would have been another way I would have ABSOLUTELY taken it. However, I cannot change the past, I cannot live in the land of "what ifs." I cannot apply a cheesy Christian cliche to what I have experienced and call it good. No. All of my feelings on those matters still apply. However, part of moving through the grief process is acceptance. And I think maybe, I am finally getting there. Not that I am "okay" with what has happened, but instead accepting that it has happened and I am powerless to change it.
I also don't ALWAYS have good days. Heck, I've had years of bad days, of just surviving, of living day to day with no hope for the future, but I'm starting to move out of that. The grief process takes an incredible amount of time to move through, and to be honest, I'm not done, nor will I ever be. However, after living in darkness and despair for so long, it is nice to finally see the light. It's a process, not a destination. I'm able to love more, give more, and be more because of what I have gone through. It is often people who have experienced the most pain that have the biggest capacity to love. Not because we are better than anyone else, but because we have been to the depths of despair and survived it. You can't walk through fire and not come out changed. By moving through a process such as this you find more love to give than ever before.
Have a good day friends,
Felicia
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