Not ready for that post
I haven't written lately because my blog has been set to private. There are many reasons for that, but ultimately it was to protect ourselves while we battled through court. What a long and sorrowful battle it was. I'm not ready to write "that post." You know, the one that details the last 6 months of our lives. I can't do it yet. However, I do know that writing is therapeutic for me, and it's something I enjoy doing.
We are a week from Christmas break here at school, and boy am I ready for a time of rest! For my mind, my body, but most importantly, my spirit. Christmas break is a good time for that. Shorter days, longer nights, colder weather that keeps us inside, all conducive for a good rest. I am looking forward to catching up on Sleepy Hollow, Once Upon a Time, and Quantico.
Our lives have been a whirlwind of pain, grief, and emotions. I can't even begin to describe the process this has been. We are still in the middle of it, and do not see the end yet. I've been told it's a two year process. I believe that it is that long and more. For now we make it through each day. People often ask HOW I am doing, and it is not so much HOW I am doing, but WHAT I am doing that I most often answer with. Keeping busy gets us through the days. Sitting only serves to let our minds wander. I cook more now, I clean more now, I've started running, I own four adult color books. All as a direct result of having more time than I've been used to in the past two years.
I wanted to take the rest of the year off, but that would not have been good for my mental or physical health. My students, as crazy as they are, keep me sane. I don't have time to let my mind wander when dealing with 50 very different personalities every day. I guess that is why most people say they NEED to go back to work after a traumatic event or loss.
We are still involved in foster care. It isn't the type of thing you can just "quit" when things go crazy, not when another child is living in your home and depending on you for survival. For now we go day by day, which is an improvement over minute by minute. I still don't trust anyone in our agency and wouldn't recommend them to anyone looking to be involved in foster care.However while we still have another child in our home we must deal with them. It's minimal which I think is best for all parties involved, but it's still there. That will be a relationship that will most likely never heal, that is something I am at peace with.
The post I am not ready to write may not come for a long time, but I know I have to start somewhere, this was the start.
We are a week from Christmas break here at school, and boy am I ready for a time of rest! For my mind, my body, but most importantly, my spirit. Christmas break is a good time for that. Shorter days, longer nights, colder weather that keeps us inside, all conducive for a good rest. I am looking forward to catching up on Sleepy Hollow, Once Upon a Time, and Quantico.
Our lives have been a whirlwind of pain, grief, and emotions. I can't even begin to describe the process this has been. We are still in the middle of it, and do not see the end yet. I've been told it's a two year process. I believe that it is that long and more. For now we make it through each day. People often ask HOW I am doing, and it is not so much HOW I am doing, but WHAT I am doing that I most often answer with. Keeping busy gets us through the days. Sitting only serves to let our minds wander. I cook more now, I clean more now, I've started running, I own four adult color books. All as a direct result of having more time than I've been used to in the past two years.
I wanted to take the rest of the year off, but that would not have been good for my mental or physical health. My students, as crazy as they are, keep me sane. I don't have time to let my mind wander when dealing with 50 very different personalities every day. I guess that is why most people say they NEED to go back to work after a traumatic event or loss.
We are still involved in foster care. It isn't the type of thing you can just "quit" when things go crazy, not when another child is living in your home and depending on you for survival. For now we go day by day, which is an improvement over minute by minute. I still don't trust anyone in our agency and wouldn't recommend them to anyone looking to be involved in foster care.However while we still have another child in our home we must deal with them. It's minimal which I think is best for all parties involved, but it's still there. That will be a relationship that will most likely never heal, that is something I am at peace with.
The post I am not ready to write may not come for a long time, but I know I have to start somewhere, this was the start.
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