Sexuality in the Media... One cheap trick lie.
This is a little bit of a different post for this blog tonight, but it's what's happening in our lives today.
I can honestly say that I did not realize how sexualized the media world has become in regards to kid's shows! Sex (and sexuality) is EVERYWHERE around us in the adult world. This fact is overly obvious. There are things you can do to limit your exposure, but as an adult you can't block out all of those types of influences unless perhaps you moved to a private island with no contact of the outside world. Barring that and it's pretty much an impossible task. As an adult I recognize this and can deal with it, and censor things out.
I was shocked today as I was listening to a show our little girl was watching. A show that is clearly aimed at young girls and presents itself as different, hip, and a little edgy, right along with the zombie craze everyone is so into right now. There are dolls, and toys, and movies, and toothpaste, and a series of episodes on Netflix. Monster High. I've always thought the dolls were quite creepy, hence the reason none of them made it under our tree this year. However, I knew nothing about the shows. Our newest addition simply LOVES Monster High and after three days in a row of being stuck inside because of snow/cold days I said yes to TV time. I do monitor what our kids watch and was intrigued to see what this newest craze was all about. Because the toddler of the house had taken over the big T.V. with "Mater's a Carstoon" our 7 year old was left with the Macbook. She was sitting at the dining room table watching very contently while I caught up on some laundry.
Holy Moses was I shocked. The first bit that rubbed me the wrong way was the immediate emphasis on dating. She's seven, she needs to be a little girl not a teenager. This specific episode was about a sweet 1600th birthday. One of ghouls gets a "practical gift" from her boyfriend. She immediately gets all bent out of shape, throws a major dramatic fit, and ends up breaking up with him over it. Seriously?! (I wish that was as bad as it got!) Our seven year old of course had a comment about this gift. "I can't believe he got her a practical gift. Who does that? Doesn't he know anything about girls?!" Second thing that rubbed me the wrong way. We then had to have a conversation about being grateful for any gift we receive and that we should be thankful that people think about us and like us enough to give us gifts at all. We also had to talk about the fact that practical gifts are very useful and that means we don't have to spend our own money on that item. She then agreed that the ghoul girl's reaction wasn't very nice and she should have acted better.
As the episode went on things only got worse. The ghoul girl ends up cheating on her boyfriend and
justifies her actions based on the fact that he couldn't possibly love her because he got her a practical gift. Her "friends" end up covering for her, encouraging the affair, and covering it up. The girl ends up falling for a vampire man who is only using her to get something evil that he wants. He ends up putting her under some type of spell that controls her and she has no ability to run away from him. The "friends" that once supported this affair now try and break up the "new couple" and get the "old couple" back together. In the end the original couple gets back together and the moral is supposed to be about something like "true love always prevails." True love? Is that what this show was talking about? I think not.
No wonder we have a whole generation of people who have no idea what true love is. No wonder our young girls are so obsessed with dating and boys when they should be obsessed with jump rope and hop scotch. Monster High is far from the only show that promotes these kinds of ideals and values. I'm so glad we do not have cable or satellite TV in our house. Disney and Nickelodeon are FULL of shows that promote dramatic self-centered girls who whine and manipulate until they get their own way. They portray boys as being stupid and being good for nothing more than doing what their controlling girlfriends want them to do. It's quite sickening really, and trust me, it's working. Teaching in a Jr. High school allows me to see just how much the media is affecting our kids and just how much they model their lives after what they see and hear. Speaking of hearing, don't even get me started on the music industry. That is a whole other topic for a whole other night!
I'm not saying our kids should live under a rock. Our kids will be exposed to a variety of things that are less than ideal. We can't control everything they see and hear. However, I do believe that it is important to monitor what we can monitor and encourage our children to engage in positive TV shows and music. I also think that it is important that our children learn from a young age what true love is. To know that real love is sacrificial. Real love is a choice, real love doesn't disappear on a whim or a bad mood. Real love is so much more. We know real love because Jesus first showed us the only real example of what true love is. That is what I want my kids to know about love. Not some cheap knock off version of some hip-hop "reality" t.v. show.
I think this idea of cheap love hits home even harder with us right now. For our little girl the word "love" has been used to hurt and abuse. The word love has been used as an excuse to do disgusting things to another human being, an innocent child. The word love has been used to manipulate. The word love has been used to silence. The word love has been used to destroy. This "love" is of course not real love. But how do you reteach a child the difference? How do you show a child that there is real love out there and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with ANY of those HORRIBLE things that she thinks love is attached to? How do you show a child that there is a God who loves her, and created her, and made her special because of who she is, and HATES that this is the perverted version of love she has learned to think is real? How do you break down walls and build trust. How do you tear down barriers build up bridges? How do you create a safety net when you can't change the past or guarantee the future?
One moment at a time. One look, one word, one memory. It's hard work, it's painful. It's in every tear and every hard story she tells. It's slow moving and uphill climbing. It feels impossible. It's not, but it will take many many many months to see progress. It will take years for healing. And it will take a God sized miracle for complete restoration.
One thing is for certain, we are here to protect and rebuild. We are placed in this time with this child for a specific reason. It's our job to protect the innocence of childhood. That is why I choose to censor our TV shows. It's hard enough restoring the hope of the future because of the pain of the past, I will not let some cheap trick, money hungry, sexually obsessed, media industry pervert those ideas of love any further than they already are. I will choose to protect. Can I get an Amen?!
I can honestly say that I did not realize how sexualized the media world has become in regards to kid's shows! Sex (and sexuality) is EVERYWHERE around us in the adult world. This fact is overly obvious. There are things you can do to limit your exposure, but as an adult you can't block out all of those types of influences unless perhaps you moved to a private island with no contact of the outside world. Barring that and it's pretty much an impossible task. As an adult I recognize this and can deal with it, and censor things out.
I was shocked today as I was listening to a show our little girl was watching. A show that is clearly aimed at young girls and presents itself as different, hip, and a little edgy, right along with the zombie craze everyone is so into right now. There are dolls, and toys, and movies, and toothpaste, and a series of episodes on Netflix. Monster High. I've always thought the dolls were quite creepy, hence the reason none of them made it under our tree this year. However, I knew nothing about the shows. Our newest addition simply LOVES Monster High and after three days in a row of being stuck inside because of snow/cold days I said yes to TV time. I do monitor what our kids watch and was intrigued to see what this newest craze was all about. Because the toddler of the house had taken over the big T.V. with "Mater's a Carstoon" our 7 year old was left with the Macbook. She was sitting at the dining room table watching very contently while I caught up on some laundry.
Holy Moses was I shocked. The first bit that rubbed me the wrong way was the immediate emphasis on dating. She's seven, she needs to be a little girl not a teenager. This specific episode was about a sweet 1600th birthday. One of ghouls gets a "practical gift" from her boyfriend. She immediately gets all bent out of shape, throws a major dramatic fit, and ends up breaking up with him over it. Seriously?! (I wish that was as bad as it got!) Our seven year old of course had a comment about this gift. "I can't believe he got her a practical gift. Who does that? Doesn't he know anything about girls?!" Second thing that rubbed me the wrong way. We then had to have a conversation about being grateful for any gift we receive and that we should be thankful that people think about us and like us enough to give us gifts at all. We also had to talk about the fact that practical gifts are very useful and that means we don't have to spend our own money on that item. She then agreed that the ghoul girl's reaction wasn't very nice and she should have acted better.
As the episode went on things only got worse. The ghoul girl ends up cheating on her boyfriend and
justifies her actions based on the fact that he couldn't possibly love her because he got her a practical gift. Her "friends" end up covering for her, encouraging the affair, and covering it up. The girl ends up falling for a vampire man who is only using her to get something evil that he wants. He ends up putting her under some type of spell that controls her and she has no ability to run away from him. The "friends" that once supported this affair now try and break up the "new couple" and get the "old couple" back together. In the end the original couple gets back together and the moral is supposed to be about something like "true love always prevails." True love? Is that what this show was talking about? I think not.
No wonder we have a whole generation of people who have no idea what true love is. No wonder our young girls are so obsessed with dating and boys when they should be obsessed with jump rope and hop scotch. Monster High is far from the only show that promotes these kinds of ideals and values. I'm so glad we do not have cable or satellite TV in our house. Disney and Nickelodeon are FULL of shows that promote dramatic self-centered girls who whine and manipulate until they get their own way. They portray boys as being stupid and being good for nothing more than doing what their controlling girlfriends want them to do. It's quite sickening really, and trust me, it's working. Teaching in a Jr. High school allows me to see just how much the media is affecting our kids and just how much they model their lives after what they see and hear. Speaking of hearing, don't even get me started on the music industry. That is a whole other topic for a whole other night!
I'm not saying our kids should live under a rock. Our kids will be exposed to a variety of things that are less than ideal. We can't control everything they see and hear. However, I do believe that it is important to monitor what we can monitor and encourage our children to engage in positive TV shows and music. I also think that it is important that our children learn from a young age what true love is. To know that real love is sacrificial. Real love is a choice, real love doesn't disappear on a whim or a bad mood. Real love is so much more. We know real love because Jesus first showed us the only real example of what true love is. That is what I want my kids to know about love. Not some cheap knock off version of some hip-hop "reality" t.v. show.
I think this idea of cheap love hits home even harder with us right now. For our little girl the word "love" has been used to hurt and abuse. The word love has been used as an excuse to do disgusting things to another human being, an innocent child. The word love has been used to manipulate. The word love has been used to silence. The word love has been used to destroy. This "love" is of course not real love. But how do you reteach a child the difference? How do you show a child that there is real love out there and it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with ANY of those HORRIBLE things that she thinks love is attached to? How do you show a child that there is a God who loves her, and created her, and made her special because of who she is, and HATES that this is the perverted version of love she has learned to think is real? How do you break down walls and build trust. How do you tear down barriers build up bridges? How do you create a safety net when you can't change the past or guarantee the future?
One moment at a time. One look, one word, one memory. It's hard work, it's painful. It's in every tear and every hard story she tells. It's slow moving and uphill climbing. It feels impossible. It's not, but it will take many many many months to see progress. It will take years for healing. And it will take a God sized miracle for complete restoration.
One thing is for certain, we are here to protect and rebuild. We are placed in this time with this child for a specific reason. It's our job to protect the innocence of childhood. That is why I choose to censor our TV shows. It's hard enough restoring the hope of the future because of the pain of the past, I will not let some cheap trick, money hungry, sexually obsessed, media industry pervert those ideas of love any further than they already are. I will choose to protect. Can I get an Amen?!
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