It's been a long time
Our little man's one year birthday is coming up. What a crazy, wonderful, stressful, scary, awesome, horrible, beautiful year it has been! I haven't written much this last year because honestly, I didn't want to. I get so angry sometimes at our little guy's situation I don't want to and can't think about it. I have horrible anxiety every time he is taken on a visit. I have gone over and over and over the "what if's" until I could throw up. Sometimes I just DON'T want to talk about it. So I don't write, because writing would make me face things that I can push out of my mind. It's been a long long long road and we still don't have an end in sight. People always ask when, when will it be over, when will everything be finalized. Honestly I don't know. I, more than anyone, want to know! I want answers! I want control! But I have none of those things. It sucks. It really really does. Quite honestly there have been times this yea...