Still Waiting

I'm extremely impatient. I hate waiting for anything. Waiting for something big is even harder. I deposited another three hundred dollars into our adoption account this past week and thought to myself, why does that number go up so slowly?! I know that we are working hard on fundraising, saving, and overall being patient, but waiting, well, how do I say this, it sucks. 
I've been trying to look at this as a "season" and only a "season," not as a complete way of life. It won't always be this way, but we are approaching the five-year mark of our journey, and that seems like a lifetime. We have been working on spending time together, preparing for days when we will have zero time. We've decided this year to invest in experiences and not stuff, hence the dance classes we've been taking. I'm working on being content in our circumstances, but quite honestly, it's hard. I said to Tony, "ya know, this process would be a whole lot easier if someone would just "give" us a baby." "Yup." (There is no point in even entertaining this idea.)
We both know it, but private adoptions without the use of agencies are far and few between. We have gotten our hopes up several times, but have always been let down. While we are still open to the possibilities, we are aware that this will probably not happen for us. I cannot even begin to express the jealousy I feel when I hear stories of that happening to people. Maybe someday we will get to experience that miracle, but for now, it's wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. And as I've said before... waiting sucks! 

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